When Momming (is that a word) can be so hard

Toni has been going to therapy for three weeks now and we are seeing very little comfort in fact this week it seems to be traveling quicker. She has had some unexplainable pain and some we know what was the cause. I am back to being a detective and trying to decide if we need to limit activity or try and work through it. I have left her in GOD's hands and am hoping that he will give us the answers we need. I love Toni. My heart swells every time I think about her. The love I have for that girl sometimes just makes me smile and on nights like tonight my heart aches. Tonight she said, "Mommy, I do not like being me." First instinct was to scold her but this time I listened at the reasons why. She hates being in pain but is so thankful that GOD gave her to me and that he loved her enough to send his son to die on the cross for her sins. So as my eyes swell with tears that my baby is in so much pain my heart swells with happiness that Toni gets it. She knows that GOD loves her and even though we do not know why she has to be in pain she is ready to tell the world, a relationship with Jesus Christ is true pain relief. So when momming gets hard I just have to remember that Toni is in the great physicians hands.